God's response to child.....

My dearest child,

My child, i know you, i remember you and i see you every moment. We've met many times. Infact, you're my sweet and innocent child and i send my angels also to meet you. Remember that shining rose flower which seemed to smile at you that morning? It was my angel.. That beautiful butterfly, which comes to see you every evening is also my angel.. And those rain drops, which you enjoy, they're my angels too.. Also, your papa and mom, they are two angels i've sent to take care of you. Still we can meet whenever you want... And my child i am not on holidays, sometimes i just want my children to learn themselves... I know my earth has not been doing well... But i've been working hard to make people realize the importance of goodness and truth... But they never listen to me, they prefer the idols they have created as those cannot speak... Those who have faith on me are not poor or unhappy... They are always happy and relaxed and make everyone else too happy.... How can i help someone who doesn't even believe in me! I know you believe that i can do everything and i've all the power... I appreciate your knowledge... But i want to tell you that i am also bounded by karma... If you do something wrong, i may only give you the strength to undergo its atonement and forgive you but i cannot decrease the pain, yours sins are going to give you... I know all this does not sound convincing to you... But that's the truth... All those who you can see suffering have done something wrong somewhere... I promise you, if you have faith on me, believe my words for the time being... Right now you're too young my child to understand all this... But when you grow up you would know what i mean.... Though, i am bad at scolding, i've scolded my manager and also told your mom to make Rajma Chawal for you... She says she cannot make them everyday as it is not good for your health... I know you are thinking i've not answered the question that confused you the most and that i am trying to be smart, just as you tell your papa when he doesn't want to answer you... As for karna, you're too young to understand the intricacies and it's a puzzle for life... One day you would understand Krishna's foresight and appreciate it... And one thing that i want to tell you... Be good always the way you are and you will find me besides you always!

Your loving father,
God

A child's letter to God...

Dear God,

I am sure You don't remember me, though papa says You know everything. They've told alot about You but it seems they never told You anything about me. They say i am Your creation but i've never met You. Though, i've always believed my mom and papa can do everything, papa says You are much stronger than him and have all the power to do what he cannot do. Even mom agrees with papa and says you're omnipotent. Infact, mom also says You're there everywhere.... something that she calls omni... omnipresent.. It seems to me that like my uncle who is a CEO, you too go on holidays... And keep your phone switched off... But it came to my mind today only that i could send you a letter from a speed post.. I am writing You this short letter to tell You that Your earth has not been doing well... God i saw Mahabharata, i want to ask you... i always liked Karna.. He was nice... Daadi says You are Krishna, then why did Krishna not help that nice man... I think the man who made the serial has done some mistake... Only You can tell him what is it... And also, i want to tell you everyone is fighting... Even monitors of the class are fighting with everyone... Why don't You give a lot of money to everyone..? You've everything.. Daadi says You're infinite... God, i want to ask You why are some people poor..? Why does that child on the street not have his papa and mom to give him good clothes, food and lots of teddys? Also, i request you to create people with a little more brain and very big hearts... Papa was saying that the products of his factory aren't nice when his manager does not see to things... Please scold Your manager... I have many questions. But i've to do a lot of homework, mom will scold me if i don't do my work... My homework is on Adolf Hitler.. I don't know why my teacher wants me to know about such a cruel man... Thank you for reading.... Mom says You are busy taking care of everyone.... I'll write more tomorrow... And please ask mom to make Rajma Chawal for me everyday... She will definitely agree with whatever you say...

Your loving Child(Papa says You're everyone's Father)

PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN....

India – the country where I was born, the country where I live and the country which has nurtured me. And you all would agree it’s the country which claims that it could stand against the meltdown like a strong iceberg; and while those top of that iceberg were enjoying the view, no body that around 300 million(Below Poverty line) cannot manage to obtain food. But, after all we’re the fourth largest economy- right after US, China and Japan. We can always celebrate overlooking the fact that our economy a mere 7% of the giant’s economy. It’s a country where people still fight for temples and mosques, on the basis of religion, caste and creed. It’s a country which is celebrating, the success of Common Wealth Games, the part of which was a great daylight robbery of 7000 crores of public money. But, after all Common Wealth games, we’re optimistic have been a success. It’s a country with a corruption index of 3.4 and let me point it out to you that here, lower corruption index refers to higher corruption! India is a country that tops the corruption list, that tops the list of unclean places, the population list, the education list and almost everything – I agree, very humbly. That’s the truth and I am no one to deny it.
But let me tell you my dear friends – I am a proud Indian. Yes, I am a proud Indian. And to validate my proud, let me tell you some beautiful facts. The corrupt India is the only society in the world which has never been known for slavery. The illiterate India gave the world the number system – yes, I am talking about Aryabhatta. And let me tell you – the world’s first university, Takshila was established in our uneducated, backward India. The directionless communal India, developed the art of navigation 6000 years ago and the very word, Navigation is derived from Sanskrit word ‘Nou’. Mathematics – the great grandfather nurtured in the cradle of this country – be it Bhaskarachya’s calculation of time taken by the earth to orbit the sun or the value of that small pi or algebra or trigonometry. Now let me tell you about the contribution of India to medical. Ayurveda-oh everyone knows belongs to India but let me tell you Sushruta, the father of surgery conducted complicated surgeries like cesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures and even plastic and brain surgery- 2600 years ago! Yes, I am talking about the corrupt India, the unclean India and uneducated India.
Well those against being proud of India may smile at all this and with their hearts elated – they can say: Hey you let us remind you that’s history! India was the largest contributor to mathematics but now we’ve Princetons and Harvards- better than us! India did a great work in medical but now we’ve Texas. And they may very rightfully say that I am using past to validate the sense of worth in present. To them, my answer has two parts. One, what a nation is, where it stands now is largely determined by its past and when we talk about nations, it becomes absolutely imperative that we talk about the past. And the past of our India is fascinating and interesting as it is momentous. Well, I know most would be more than unconvinced with this reason of mine, largely conventional but the one I firmly stand with. So for unconvinced, I’ve another. India is the world’s largest democracy. Our powerless, weak India has the largest number of biomass gasifier systems in the world producing 656 mega watts (MW) of power. India was the first country to be accorded the status of a Pioneer Investor in 1987 and was allocated an exclusive area in the central Indian Ocean by the UN for exploration and utilization of resources. India signed a ground breaking civil nuclear deal with US in 2008 thus facilitating fuel supply for its nuclear reactors. The deal offers potential for a paradigm shift in India’s global role. The importance of the deal does not lie merely in the transfer of nuclear energy. Its importance is psychological. It opens the door to a new era of trust and cooperation between India and the US. India is the 3rd largest producer of solar photovoltaic cells in the world producing 2.12 MW of power. India is the world’s 4th largest wind power user. India has jumped five places to become the world’s 11th biggest exporter of commercial services in 2005, and inched one step ahead to the 29th rank among the largest merchandise exporters, according to the latest statistics by World Trade Organization. The Indian Software Industry has grown from a mere US $ 150 million in 1991-92 to a staggering US $ 5.7 billion in 1999-2000. No other Indian industry has performed so well against the global competition. IEEE has proved what has been a century old suspicion in the world scientific community that the pioneer of wireless communication was Prof. Jagdish Bose and not Marconi. India has the second largest pool of Scientists and Engineers in the World. Illiterate, uneducated India is the second largest English speaking nation in the world. India is the only country other than the USA and Japan, to have built a super computer indigenously. In2008, a world record was set when India’s Polar rocket successfully placed ten satellites, including the country’s remote sensing satellite, into orbit in a single mission. India born steel czar Lakshmi Mittal and Reliance Industries chairman Mukesh Ambani figure in the Forbes list of “World’s most powerful billionaires” who wield staggering authority and influence far beyond their riches. The TATA group, State Bank of India and Infosys Technologies are among 17 Indian firms that figure among the top 50 in the list of the world’s 200 most-reputed companies. World’s largest electronic ID program is underway in India. India is the largest producer of milk, cashew nuts, coconuts, tea, ginger, turmeric and black pepper, in the world. It also has the world’s largest cattle population (281 million). It is the second largest producer of wheat, rice, sugar, groundnut and inland fish. And talking about Harvards and Princetons: 38% of Doctors in America are Indians, 12% of Scientists in America are Indians, 36% of NASA employees are Indians, 34% of Microsoft employees are Indians, 28% of IBM employees are Indians, 17% of Intel employees are Indians and 13% of Xerox employees are Indians.
And if you could not digest all this, don’t worry, Indian pharmaceuticals will provide you enough pills as it’s the second largest pharmaceutical industry. I can tell you more but go home, and do it for yourself; yes you guessed it right – google it. Google sees more reasons than you do to be proud of India. And now let me come to the point, strongest in my view and may be one of most lame thing, as you may call it, to cover the negatives of India. The spirituality, the Vedas, Bhagwad Gita- the books, the words, the ideas that lay our foundation are undoubtedly ad undisputedly enlightening.
If all that leaves you unconvinced, I would accept the truth – the actual reason of my being proud of India is that I am an INDIAN. When I can be proud of myself, my accomplishments despite a hundred flaws, when I can be proud of my sibling, despite his many disqualities and when I can be proud of my parents’ kindness and goodness, though they may not be good and kind to everyone – why not should I be proud of my nation, my country – the country which has made me what I am, which has given me this right to speak!

Who is respected? Or should i ask, "what" is respected....?

When i was a child i always thought,good people were respected.When i grew up a little,i thought,intelligent people were respected.When i grew up a little
more,i thought,smart and clever people were respected. When i grew
still more,i thought,rich people were respected.It has now turned out that "people" aren't respected, it's just the money...power...some more money....some more power...

I live with you.....

We often look around, observe and judge various people. We find their mistakes and analyze their wrong doings or may be respect their noble deeds and good actions. There're some whom we hate, some we deeply love and revere, while there're still others who don't matter to us. And when we think about our life, about happiness and sadness, about pain and pleasure, it's these people, who surround us, in the form of family, teachers, friends and may be even foes, that we actually think of. But in trying to understand those around us, we often are unable to understand ourselves, the one with whom we actually live. Yes, we first live with ourself, in thoughts, in character, in words, in behaviour, though without realizing. It's actually the swimology of life, topology of soul, physiology of self, that;s more important than geology or for that sake any study.

The untrodden ways

Walking through the untrodden ways,
Stepping over the rocks, I swayed
Looking down the valley, I saw
Weary, hollow eyes, searching for happiness
Stumbling on and on, I went further on the way,
Down the valley, I saw,
Crying, lonely, heart, searching for the way,
Sympathized with the broken heart, lonely eyes,
I moved further, tripping on the pebbles
Surprised I was, to see my lost friend,
With the chains, all around, forging ahead
Giving me a helping hand, at every impasse
There he was once again,
Those hollow eyes, that lonely heart,
That heavy chain of remorse,
All created by me, my selfishness
All forgotten by me, my greed
He was carrying them all along,
On his back, stooping by their weights,
We talked of beautiful memories,
He taught me the ways of life and truth,
I promised to be there always,
To which he smiled, and escorted me,
To the garden of life, the garden of love,
The garden of happiness, the garden of desires,
I swayed once again, I stumbled again
But the helping hand was not there,
For I realized too late, I had swayed
With the beauty of flowers, the freshness of leaves,
With the sweetness of fruits, the beauty of birds,
With the lake of selfishness, clouds of arrogance,
Too far, too happy, too busy,
To send a smile to my never-failing friend.

Insane is all, we actually want to be.......

When i say "Insane", i mean someone who does not understand the materialistic world, someone who isn't wise enough to understand the difference between sarcasm and praise, someone for whom every moment is filled with pleasure, someone for whom every person is good, irrespective of all the preconceptions, someone who's ready to help the other person just for a smile, because he doesn't know what strategies are, someone for whom simply saying something is a commitment, for he doesn't know what collusion is, someone for whom every task is worship, for he doesn't know the concepts of profit and loss to make the balance sheets! And it's not very difficult to realize that liberation from the vices of greed, deceit, dishonesty; a life filled with the sunshine of happiness and laughter; a life where all we do is just a tribute to the Almighty. Ironically, we call such people INSANE, without realizing, all we need is "insanity" only.

The questions unanswered....

Sitting back on the chair, thinking about the unknown,
A tear trickled through my eyes,
My heart, busy pulling the chariot of desires
Stopped, and peeped into my sad eyes.
Despaired to the smiling eyes, filled with deep blue tears.
He sat, beside me, waiting for me to calm down.
I smiled, smiled more, and he gazed at me.
Tried to tell him, I was fine, happy and relaxed.
Asked he, what made me sad, cry.

The tears flowed again, I told him
I asked a few questions, just a few of them,
The answers were not the ones, the ones I had been told,
Oh, I lost it, I lost it, I had been deceived ever since,
The answers were not the ones, the ones I had been told.

Puzzled, he questioned, just a few questions,
Tell me what they were; I shall give you true answers,
I shall not deceive you, I shall not, I promise.
Nodding with tears still on, I thought I would tell.
I asked, if, honesty was the best policy
Before, he could speak a word,
I said, no, no, no, that’s the answer
You said, it was, you said it a hundred times,
I was honest, I was open,
And hence, I was laughed upon, I was scorned in.

Calmly, he listened to me,
I asked him, if work was worship,
Before, he could speak a word,
I said, no, no, no, that’s the answer
You said, it was, you said it a hundred times,
I was workaholic, I was sincere,
And hence, I was called chauvinist, I was knocked

Calmer he was now, still listening to me,
I asked him, if faith was the foundation,
Before, he could speak a word,
I said, no, no, no, that’s the answer
You said, it was, you said it a hundred times,
I trusted, I relied upon others,
And hence, I was hurt, I was called a fool.

Now, offended he was, sitting in a deep thought,
He looked at me with, again and again,
And said, yes, I said honesty was the best policy,
Yes, I say honesty still was the best policy,
To be credible, to be acceptable, to be believed,
Not to others, but more to yourself.
I say again, yes, work is worship,
To be happy, to be content,
Not just you, but the Almighty
I say again, yes, faith is the foundation,
To love, to trust, to confide,
Not just the Almighty, but for the life He bestowed upon you,
For those, beautiful people, who love you, trust you.

Wiping my tears, assimilating his words,
I glanced with a smile, I thanked, I apologized,
I smiled more, still some more,
Promising through my eyes, to my heart,
Of never questioning him again, never, ever
For some questions need be left, as they are, forever.

Paradox of comprehension

Being a person of sub-normal intelligence,i don't understand, things unsaid, i don't know how to say no when yes is all i believe in, i don't understand that the question wasn't asked to share my views instead to just reinforce that which i believe is untrue, i've always ended up saying what i believe in(which indeed is sometimes different from what i want to), mostly unconsciously! And the beautiful path i see people(it might sound offensive to say them people, but they would understand i mean my dearest friends), who would not interpret something negatively, even if i intend it to be so. While quite surprisingly, i faced a situation, where i unwantedly, unknowingly offended someone whom i was supposed to respect. Standing while talking to your teacher, i always thought was a way of showing respect to him, though i realised it might be interpreted otherwise. All my blog readers, i request you to talk to God, for i know, knowingly or unknowingly hurting someone who is your teacher is something, He does not forgive, He would not forgive!!

A small story that kept me thinking........

Tired from the first day of the training, less because of long travel, more on seeing the lethargy and indifference of our so called "mentor" or i should say, our to be mentor who i doubt will ever be able to guide us, i returned home with most of me hopes shattered! Those that were still alive were because of my own mentor's enlightening words. I described the situation to me father casually, expressing my grief over what was happening in the nation's one of the best organisation, and he as he always does, narrated me a story. He said, once there was a farmer,he was quite worried because of a few kids who used to eat all his fruits everyday. One day, he injected some poison in one of the fruits and a board there that read " CAUTION: ONE OF THE FRUITS IS POISONOUS". So, that day, the kids, they just come and see that and go away without eating the fruits. The farmer gets delighted and satisfied. The next morning, the board read "CAUTION:TWO FRUITS HERE ARE POISONOUS"
My father added, if some people or may be you can say more people are bad in an organization, that does not mean, you'll do the same thing for that will not help!

MY MEET WITH MY MIRROR

I turned to that mirror, hanging in my room

He smiled as i peeped deeper into his eyes

And as i saw it i realised, he had some tears

Some pearls he was trying to hide from me,

But i was as naughty as i was when young

I stared on and on and stopped beside him

Upon seeing my questioning eye, he smiled

He smiled as broad as he could, to tell me he was happy

But i could see the hollowness of his smile,

The smile that did not comfort me, i asked him

Not if he was sad or not but

What made him sad?

He said, Oh my dear friend, you do not have time

You do not have energy, enough to waste listening my blabber

Ensuring him, i would lend all me ears to him

That he might fret speaking, but i shall not while listening

Finally i had convinced him, and happy i was

He said, he would ask me three questions,

And i without doubt affirmed to answer them

Yes, i would answer all his questions

He said, “ Are you deaf? “

Dumbstruck i was to listen, but holding myself i told him

Contemptuously i said “ Do you think i could listen to you, had i been deaf?

I had thought you were wise.

But i forgot, after all you were that tiny piece of glass

That glass which has no common sense.”

He said again “ I ask you again, are you deaf ?”

Laughing at my foolish companion, i thought

He was dumb enough to understand anything but this way

And i said “No”

His face grew sad, he said, “ Okay, but i give you another chance.

Is this your final thought?”

Red with anger, feeling insulted i stood up and shouted

“Yes, yes! I can hear you. I can understand what you say”

He smiled and said “ No, i just wondered,

why you cannot listen some things then.”

Anxious i grew, i asked him “ Oh you tiny mirror, i can listen every word.

Tell me what i cannot listen”

His smile grew broader and he said “ You deaf, you cannot listen your soul’s voice

You cannot listen your heart’s deepest desire

You cannot hear those cries of millions out there. “

Shattered my proud was, my ear diagnosis had failed

I stooped with sadness, calm, thinking what to say.

He then said,” Okay, would you like to answer my next question?”

Nodding my head silently, i affirmed

He said,” Can you see ?”

I kept wondering, and realised, i had the proof

Forgetting quickly what happened earlier, i ran to my almirah

And came with those white papers and said

“Hey you, you think i’ll remain calm after answering one question wrong?

See, see these reports, that say, my eyes are healthy

And that i can read, yes i can read those tiniest of letters between the lines

Those letters, that you cannot reflect”

Mirror smiled, and said” Oh really? Then my dear wise friend

How did you ignore those sad eyes of that little boy

Yes, that little boy who collects the garbage for you everyday?

How could you not see the despair of that old lady,

Who works at you place, cleans your room and washes your clothes?

How could you see the injustice happening to that

That waiter who served you your favourite meal?”

I sat down in despair, realising i was ignoring all that

Because that had not happened to me, i thought it was not painful.

Worried mirror to see his loved one sad

Said to me , “Oh let’s leave it here.

We’ll talk some other time.

Don’t you have to recite your chants?

Don’t you have to do your work?”

Sadly i said,” No, ask me your next question i plea”

He said, “ Okay, tell me, are you dumb?”

The devil of ego rose again, and i said in my adamant way

“Ofcourse not, i can speak for hours.

The most talkative of all my friends i was”

Smiling at my ignorance, he said

“Why did you remain silent when that little poor child

He was being beaten by that trader?”

My face grew pale with shame

“Why did you not speak when your vices

Were tying those fetters of greed and selfishness around you?”

Tears trickled through my eyes, and

I sat hopeless, unhappy, self-rejected

I suddenly heard a breaking sound

It was my mirror, broken

All those thousand pieces still showing me my true picture

My inner self, not just once,

A thousand times, my inner self,

Broken like that mirror, broken with

My own selfishness, my own ignorance

My complacency, my dishonesty.

CARRY IT FORWARD.......

Our parents, friends and mentor, they always help us, unquestionable fact, but sometimes, people we don't even know nicely, they offer a helping hand in the crisis situation. I can recollect an incident when we were three, i, my father and my brother and our car ran out of petrol 1 am in the morning. And my father tried fixing it up, but somehow failed to do that. My brother stopped an auto travelling in the parallel lane, opposite side. To my surprise, he stopped, leaving his passenger sitting in the auto, he crossed the road and came towards us. He fixed the petrol pipe diligently for thirty-thirty five mins, and lended us a bottle of petrol. On being asked indirectly by my father, if he would want anything in return of that, he just politely declined and went away. And i learnt an important lesson, the only way to thank such people is, to stop for someone else, just as he did for us, when someone needs our help! Yes, the only way to express your gratitude for all those who love you, who care for you and help you is to love, to care for and to help others, just as they do it for you.

FOR ALL GOOD PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU : THEY WERE JUST STORIES

I often remember those days when i had enough time to spend with my papa, my mom and my sweet daadi. So much of it that i could individually listen stories from the three of them in the special slot sections i had allotted them. And most, if not all of them, be those my papa's fairytales or my mom's kings and queens or my daadi's stories of Shri krishna and Guru Nanak Dev Ji, had one thing in common and that was they all said : IT WAS GOOD TO BE HONEST, IT WAS GOOD TO BE KIND, IT WAS GOOD NOT TO ARGUE, IT WAS GOOD TO RESPECT AND LOVE OTHERS AND IT INDEED WAS GOOD TO HELP THE NEEDFUL! And fortunately in all those tales, only those who were honest and kind used to be the final winners. But soon when i stepped into the real world, the true life, i realised those were just stories, very different from what it was here, very simple and though they were true, but the conditions of them being true were to be told by my life. And i realised life tells you YES, BE HONEST BUT BE READY TO BE USED AND ATLEAST ACCUSED OF BEING HYPOCRYTIE! YES, BE KIND BUT DON'T EXPECT OTHERS NOT TO BE CRUEL! YES, DON'T ARGUE, BUT BE READY TO LISTEN THAT YOU'RE A FOOL, A COWARD! YES, HELP OTHERS, BUT DON'T EXPECT A THANKS INSTEAD BE READY TO LISTEN THAT YOU WANT TO BUILD YOUR REPUTATION! YES, BE GOOD BUT DON'T THINK YOU WOULD BE APPRECIATED, INFACT BE READY, ALL THE CRITICISM IS YOURS! And let me tell you if you ever dare to expect love, respect or may be just a smile with those eight muscles involved that might enlighten you from your heart to your soul, SORRY, you'll only disappoint yourself and make yourself sad. All the good people in the world, i want to say you one thing, it's better you realise soon if you do something wrong, you're bad but if you ever dare to do something good, more good than others can digest, you're WORSE and don't be shocked if the people who learned shooting from you, turn the nozzles of their cannons right towards you! Just don't be!

When we deflect from our path....

Often while trying to do the right things or i should say trying not to do the wrong things, we deflect from our path and curbing the wrong becomes our prime focus rather than ourselves doing the right. It's then that we might condescend, quite unconsciously though. And that's the time when your true friends, they turn into your guides, your saviors and they make you realise unknowingly that you have deflected and after you come back to the right track, the one you had been following forever but temporarily forgotten, you just don't know how to be thankful enough. And this isn't all that they do for you, they, make sure you forgive yourself for deigning.

This one's for the birthday girl....

Well, this blog is for the birthday girl, sweet princess, who has come to earth to prove that Angels exist........yes they do! And when i say angel, i just mean someone with a crystal heart, truthful eyes and a million dollar, unprejudiced, heart-warming smile that penetrates right through your heart and travels all the way to your soul, enlightening it! And all i want to say to the beautiful princess is that may God bless her in all His bliss! May she have reasons enough to smile forever! May the beauty of thoughts and action be always hers!

ENGINEERING HAS TAUGHT ME ALOT MORE THAN JUST FORTY SUBJECTS

:) Studying engineering for almost three years, i've not just analyzed those capacitors and resistances, not just mapped those frequency and time domains, there are some other mappings in my cerebral and more so in my cardio domain that have changed things forever...... or may the great transition is still going on...... And here i've scribbled some of those known mappings...
1. Transformation of humane domain to human domain
Earlier, i analyzed things from humane domain, a smile was all that was required for me to work, a word of request, a blessing used to be a cause of my extreme happiness and dedication of doing things....
But things have tranformed, now i must ask for a certificate, a letter of appreciation or atleast i can write it in my CV.........Blessings, smiles they're just bonus', good if they come....hardly matters if they don't...... Recognition is all i want....without realising that those bubbles will get lost soon...
2. Transformation of innocence to immaturity
Innocence....the showering of smiles on everyone not worthy even, kiddish straight forwardness, that truthfulness, i've grown up enough to call it IMMATURITY....
3. Transformation of respect to chauvinism
Well, preparing for CAT, my vocabulary has advanced and i've started calling any respect that exceeds good morning as chauvinism.....
4. Tranformation of us to me
 What will i get after this? Will someone else get more? My life, my wishes, my dreams and my world!
5. Transformation of happiness to package

My two worlds

Cuddling teddy, lovely dolls,

That only sing, stare and speak

That important smile, of my own

That sweet pic, those pink and blue clips

That wooden pencil, those yummy chocolates

That green spinach, which only popeye liked

When happiness meant, a butterscotch

And sadness was it melting away before i could eat

When loss meant, my doll breaking away

my teddy tearing away, and regain meant

a bigger teddy, a better barbie

When fear was only breaking away of those wooden pencils

Cute brother eating my, my chocolates, all of them

When hardship was to eat that spinach

And reward was an extra chocolate

When smile was lost at father denying me something

And came back flashing at his gentle kiss.

When understanding meant, knowing more than two chocolates was harmful

When i thought world was useless without me

When i thought, i knew, i am the princess

For world only meant to me, those who loved me

Those who cared for me and those for whom i’m the world

The clock ticked on, the wheel rotated,

The world unknown started clearing, the big-day came,

And I realised, I finally did realise

 the dolls and teddys are not the only things broken

That it hurts more when hearts and dreams break

Only bigger teddy’s and better dolls come

Not better humans and if something gets bigger, it’s hardships

That smile, is not always good, it hides the bad within

That understanding was much more than the number of chocolates

That spinach was easier to digest, than disrespect

That world isn’t just that small window through which i peeped

And saw only those beautiful flowers, that there are thorns!

But, i still remain the princess of that world, that’s just mine

And that father’s kiss, still brings that heart’s peaceful flashing smile.

TWO FACTORS THAT MAKE OR BREAK THINGS

Well, till quite sometime back, for me things breaking meant getting delayed in the making process and nothing had ever went wrong to the extent of being called broken atleast. But now that i've witnessed atleast some cracks i would say, there're two things that make or break work, relationship and almost everything and those are :
1.Ethics
2.Ethics
Yes, i think ethics of people around you, the people you work with, the people you work for, people you call your friends and companions, the people you live with and the people you live for, matter the most in the long run. Because if ultimately, your ethics don't resonate with that of the other person, intelligence or may be, need cannot keep you going for too long whereas if your ethics resonate, believe me, nothing in the world can stop you from being happy with those people and from making good things that you decide to do along them.

Four reflections in the mirror of time that show what you're

1. Behaviour with those we don't like : It's not difficult to be sweet, polite and patient to those whom we love or those who love us, but what actually tells whether we're kind or not, whether we are polite or not, the way we talk to those whom we don't like.
2. What we speak at the back of others : Again, it's no big deal to treat someone with respect when he's there with us but what matters is whether those words of love, respect and honour prevail once the person or more so, the authority he has fades away.
3. What we do when we're alone : To be dishonest is bad, but to use honesty to gain benefits explicitly is even worse. We might say in front of others that yes, it's wrong to lie but if we lie the next moment when we know there's no trap, then we definitely aren't different than others. A crow painted white cannot capture the beauty of a dove for too long!
4. When we're in crisis : When we're in a crisis situation, and we know that only something unethical can save us, it's our decision whether to choose the ethics or a small victory that decide the foundation of our principles.

I felt bad............from the bottom of my heart.........

Well.....today i observed something.........something that i saw and i just felt hurt and more than that helpless..........very helpless....... I was having a wonderful dinner with my mom after i got tired of shopping...... And i observed a family......a happy family...... enjoying their dinner......Good....really good.... But then i saw a girl.... sitting beside them, talking to their kids.....smiling along but not eating anything........On observing further i realised she was a maid..... And i wondered if i could do anything about it? And the next moment i got the answer.......We're all selfish.......we smile if a child just tears a note off while playing with it but how can we waste those precious papers, the source of our ultimate bliss on some blood and flesh that's unknown to us....that's not related to us in any way and more so if it's not useful to us......... Being a future 'manager'.......not wasting my time on the poor stranger further......i concentrated on my chole bhature.......And came out smiling and joking after i was through with the dinner.....

When i feel 'right' might not be good......

We generally feel that whatever is so called right is definitely good..........or we can say it has to be good and so we generally don't cross check those right things for being good..... Just as when a teacher rebukes at you for no reason or just tells you right away that you do nothing without even thinking once, he might be right but i wonder if it's good......... Just as when a teacher tells you to be happy and keep your intrinsic values untouched from those of the external environment of the same institution in which he's teaching and you're studying, purists might find this wrong, but indeed it might be good.......... Just as when you sit in front of God almighty while you're actually thinking what color would you wear today, that might be right but it's definitely not good......... Just as instead of chanting mantras if you confess to the All-power and promise Him to be fair and honest in your own words, this might be wrong but it's indeed not bad.......... I sometimes wonder that while we choose between 'right' and good.........we actually don't make sure if it's right to kick away the good for the sake of right!

When i feel for a moment God is unhappy from me.........

Sometimes, we get so used to extraordinary things(read, people) that we never realize that those special people, their special words and their million dollar smile has become an essential part of our life.......... It's only after we get a feeling of not being able to see those people as often as we do, our fear of not having them around to guide us, to motivate us, to bless us that we realize their importance more........And we feel for a moment that God is unhappy from us so much so that those people would now be away from us.....As if after enlightening the path through their presence, God now wants us to see the darkness once again..........But then we realize, it's not that.......God loves us, He cares for us as much as he ever did...... It's just that He is extremely happy from those good people and now he wants to bless them...... And that's the time when i ask God to give me power enough to be able to pray honestly, right from the bottom of my heart that all their dreams be fulfilled, that all they've deserved may be theirs forever.........

Loop unrolling.............

In Digital Signal processing, loop unrolling refers to the decrease in computational complexity of Discrete Fourier Transform.............. But it actually, very well applies to our lives also..... When we're born, we're unaware all kinds of vices, strategies and selfish motives.......Slowly....the thread of honesty gets wrapped over by that of dishonesty, that of love gets wrapped by that of hatred and grudges, the string of selfless love gets wrapped over by the self-centered love....... And finally, comes the thread of intelligence, the thread of rationality or i should say the thread of disaster.......... This thread is very complex and comes bundled with something more dangerous than dishonesty- pretentious honesty, something more hurting than grudges - false love and something that's more obnoxious - ability to pretend selflesness...........
Well there's a but to this second stage of wrapping..........it's temporary........it might take years to unroll.........but the loop unrolls and the dirty strings of dishonesty, selfishness and dishonesty lie unwounded.......You might not see them right away........but the day the mirror of heart reflects your true picture in your soul's screen, you might not be able to respect yourself, ever!

When i realise how small i am..........

We don't know the dimensions of this huge universe.....but whatever we know, as of now, our very own Milky way is no more than a dot on the big canvas of universe.........And earth........well....no more than a speck on that dot.......hardly anything..........And we? Oh i forgot......smaller than quarks and muons.......but we consider ourselves as the highest, the best creation of universe............ A bundle of crawling creatures....hardly any fraction of the universe.....who think that their single sneeze is very important..........who think that every word they utter is the very determinant of what's going to happen next.......who think that they're the very controllers of nature or may be atleast allies.......
But then that's very natural......if you enact a play......for you your dialogues or may those of all of you are of supreme important......provided the rest of the happenings are unknown to you!
And i wonder how we think, calculate and talk about small things and happenings without realizing anything else.......... without realizing that what we think or say actually has a little importance....much lesser than even the dialogues of some unknown character of a play......for those dialogues hold atleast a measurable fraction of the play........

Sometimes.........when love and respect fade away.......

 We often start the journey towards the destination(though temporary) and always believe that the way would turn out to be more joyous than the experience of reaching the destination despite its adversities. And on that road we hold hands of some people........who we expect will always be there with us, for us.......for whom we feel our reaching the destination is as important as theirs.........for whom we think that our success brings equal amount of happiness as their own..........for whom our smile or tear can be a driving force........ But as the road gets tougher, we sometimes feel that those people now want to leave us behind......for them our happiness is not a reason to rejoice..........for them our smile is not sunshine, though tears might still remain a driving force..........But, eventually we cannot separate ourselves from them......... And we go on and on.......as silent travelers, often looking towards each other giving a false hope...........And the following lines are the true description.........

हम तुम दोनों दोस्त पुराने सदियों की मजबूरी के ,

इससे बढ़कर तुम ही बोलो और भी कोई रिश्ता है?

Sometimes........Ignorance is actually bliss............

Though neither i don't doubt my communication skills, nor do i doubt my vocabulary but there's one more thing i am sure of.............I am incapable of understanding or comprehending some of the most simple ironic or satirical statements made every now and then........ And whenever i've tried understanding them or they have been explained to me, i've always thanked God for making me dumb enough not to understand somethings for good...........And those are the only times when i really agree with the statement that ignorance is bliss......:)

Two types of claustrophobia.......

Well......i feel there're two types of claustrophoia......
1. Claustrophobia of closed minds : It's one of the most prevalent anomalies.......The minds with their inlets closed to anything and everything that's new and different, has never been heard or seen, though some of these minds blow the trumpets of innovation and dynamism but they discard all notes that are different from those established.........They get used to the suffocated environment and the very sign of breeze gives them a feeling of the peril of upcoming storm......So, they close the doors and force others, for whom they care, to live behind shackles, in the urge for saving them from the jeopardy.....
2. Claustrophobia of closed hearts : This is even more dangerous......Perhaps, it's reason is the deficiency of virtue giving minerals : emotions and conscience.....The affected doesn't want to respond to the love, honesty and faith of the other people......The patients just make strategies and plans to take the maximum benefit while shutting all the heart's windows to the cleansing agents of heart.....

Well, at one point of time.......if your doctor's instinct gets active and you might want to treat them with all your force and goodness.............i would like to remind you.....windows broken aren't windows opened........So, the best you can do is just walk out of the shackles........ for your own good,for the good of those who love and trust you and for your lord who has send you as a messenger on this earth...........

The light of darkness

Darkness is my saviour,
Haunting me in my slumber, it hovers when i think
Laughing along, it cries when i weep
Listens when my estranged soul speaks
It wakes me up when my lonely heart beats.

It absorbs in itself, my worries, my apprehensions
And reminds me of my loved ones, teaches me to smile
It walks along me like my soul's shadow
And takes me far away to moments of light, the light of happiness
the light of love, the light of gratitude, the light of truth.

Three things that go unsaid............

I'm a talkative person.......ofcourse that's not a piece of information......that's something everyone knows......... And there can be people who might talk more than i do(this one only i know;-), because you would realise more how much i speak...) or i can say....there are people who can express themselves in a much better way than i do...... Ah....What a factual peice of information am i giving...! Whatever and however you may talk, there are three things that i feel always go unsaid........
1. Love........... You cannot find words enough to express your love for your loved ones......you cannot explain people how much they matter for you........it's just that your dear ones know you love them........and this saves you....
2. Respect......... Well you might bow in front of a person and wish him Good Morning in the most formal of tones without actually having even a bit of respect.........On the contrary, you might respect someone, someone as informal as your dearest of friends for his faith and helpfulness...........
3. Promises......... Promises aren't to be made........they're just be kept..........the promise of being there when your dear ones need you, the promise of loving them selflessly, the promise of being a part of their happiness and sorrows....... they just go unsaid.... but definitely they're not unknown... :-)

Five ironies of my life............

Five biggest ironies.........perhaps the saddest too :
1. I can see when others do something wrong......but i am completely unaware even after i commit a hellish crime...
2. I can listen when others are rude or ill-mannered to me....but i am completely deaf even if my words hurt someone as sharply as knife....
3. I can smell the conspiracies against myself........but i condone my own ill-strategies as counter-acts....
4. I can tell others to taste failure before they succeed.......but i myself feel the bitter even if i just seem to be going off-track......
5. I can feel the pain when i've just fallen from a staircase......but i cannot feel the pain i inflict upon my dear ones' hearts........
And i am an absolutely fit person, with a pair of almond eyes that can see for sure but are hollow enough to wake up a sleeping soul, with sharp ears that know deceiving noise of pain by music and sensible skin that isn't good enough for insensible heart.....
It seems like i'm in a room where the person with the most beautiful hat wins......I can see everyone's hat and hence seem to have decided that their hats are too bad to win and so have assumed that i win.....or perhaps they lost without knowing that the very fabric of my own hat is embedded with the dirt of my selfishness and greed.........

The HR of my life........ :-)

Yes you are right HR means human resources or in other words how employees are managed by organizations.... But for me HR means Honesty and rectitude..... My soul's employees, my heart and brain..... manage the life through this HR........Dishonesty might give you a large appearing matrix of continuous values for the temporary gain......... Honesty and rectitude give you infinitum resources which at once might not be visible for they appear as sharp impulses of varying amplitude and to make them appear continuous all you need is an interpolation formula......And you can just take the shifted and scaled versions, right from negative inf to positive inf..... And that's you've all you wanted and needed.... The recipe of satisfaction and happiness....^_^

Three things that can take care of themselves on their own.........

Well, you might be a courteous, caring person..... But there're these three things that are smart enough to take care of their own.....
1. Ego : Something that stops you from accepting others even if they're right, something that does not let you appreciate others

2. Pressure : Trying to come up to your parents' or friends' expectations or perhaps working harder is not pressure, it's your love and respect for their concern for you....But drowning yourself in the ocean of worries and calculations definitely is...

3. Selfishness : Oh....loving yourself and caring for yourself is not selfishness, but loving others lesser than you love and care yourself is....

And throwing them out of your heart, mind and soul would undoubtedly render you freer, happier and more satisfied...Besides there's nothing to worry for these are good enough to take their own care both spatially and temporally....

To be or not to be

You go to temple everyday to give milk and water to idols? You want to be an engineer, doctor, CA? Great!! Go ahead! You're at the right path. You want to be a painter, a writer, a photographer, a musician? Oh! Sorry, there less chances that you would succeed because Rohan's father told me that his brother's son tried hard to be a painter but couldn't earn anything. And you know, Neha's mother told me that she didn't let Neha be a writer. She has got Neha admitted into an engineering college by paying a donation of 16 lakhs. All this is useless, only good to dream but not realizable...

And you'll ,meet at least a thousand heads who would present you different reasons that you aren't capable of doing what you want to or what you want to do is useless! Trust me, you've more capillaries than the number of people you meet and don't forget that each infuses in you the life, so that you can do what you want to, what you think is the message of your life. When you'll breathe your last minutes in some hospital you won't think good or bad about what your profession is but what you are, what your life has been , and whether or not have you been fair and honest to yourself and others. There's much more to life. Besides profession is just a tool of spreading your message. Important part is the message, the aim; and not the communication channel.

Sometimes...............

Sometimes when i see selfless love and care of in the form of parents... friends....teachers.... I wonder if i can ever be grateful enough to them for being so nice, for being there with me all the time, for helping me without their own selfish motives, for listening to me as long as i wish, for smiling with me even if they're unhappy,for trying to make me smile even in their own adversities, for choosing words while taking care of my feelings, for giving me their blessings every moment..... And i realize.... considering that i cannot even count what all they've and they've been doing for me....the matter of being grateful enough or repaying is far beyond.....I wonder.... perhaps i don't deserve to be loved and cared so much.... for they love me for being what i am and i fear.... unknowingly, i am loosing that identity, those values....getting drowned deeper into the whirlpool of deceit......

The human 'beings'...........

There's a high probability that my calculations might have gone wrong somewhere, or perhaps my observation is covered with a layer of my own apprehensions and preconceptions....or my knowledge of literature does not suffice to understand.... the meaning a very simple word....."Human Beings"..... Something that we are....I.... You and and all of us.... And what i always thought was that the only meaning of this simple word was..... To be humane.... But things seem to be very different....for we're definitely not humane..... and we claim ourselves to be human beings... So either postulate must be wrong.... For to be humane does not mean to just keep running in the name of fame, success, and happiness of our loved ones....tramping the feelings, wishes and dreams of several humans, whom we unfortunately call strangers, under the feet of greed and selfishness, very beautifully covered with the branded shoes of social responsibilities and human nature..... I doubt....... we're just living beings....or perhaps more precisely surviving being..... But definitely not human beings....

I wish i would be a writer or a painter......

:-) Childish, i know.... After 2.5 years of engineering..... And infact, 4.5 years of effective work...i sometimes still feel i could be a painter or perhaps a writer... What else can be better than a pen or a brush....and a sheet of paper or a canvas....? And no one to question you.......... No x's, no y's.....No integrals.......no differentials.... no formulae... No rules... Nothing!!Just imagination and brush..... feelings and canvas..... But then i realise, i'm supposed to be an engineer........ And i'm supposed to be happy about it.....

Some things i cannot say......Some things i should not say.....

Perhaps........those some things.....i should not feel..... but....i just can't stop myself from feeling distressed....when i see people offering flowers, milk and water to the Shivling on the pious day of Mahashivratri.........Is it that they cannot see the outlet that goes into the manholes or the man who is collecting those flowers in the dustbin..... just a few moments after they've been offered..... or that i see more than i should? I wonder how can we stop ourselves from offering that milk to the poor kid standing outside the temple and........... And if i question to myself.....whether it's ignorance or spirituality..... what's so wrong with it? And if the innermost, uninfluenced answer of my heart is not what it should be............how am i wrong....!! Sometimes i really want to ask Lord Shiva.....if He really is happy from us doing all this? And if He's not.... for which i'm very optimistic that He isn't.... Why doesn't He, being All-powerful...just tell this....?

SOME PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU CAN BE YOUR OWN SELF.........

False smiles,calculated words,suppressed tears..........Some unsaid, unknown, undefined masks that we wear most of the times......Sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly....sometimes wanted, sometimes unwanted........But there are some people with whom i can be my own self........With whom i don't have to think before i speak my heart........with whom i don't have to keep my eyes down to conceal my tears............with whom i can smile as and when i want to........For whom my presence isn't something that they would want to get rid of.... those whom i don't need to ask if they would be there with me..........for i know.......good or bad....right or wrong....seen or unseen.....they and their wishes would always be with me......:-)

A new principle of happiness and optimism......

System is a donkey........You cannot make horses out of donkey.........You can only make better donkeys..... Oh yes........And if you would know beforehand that system is a donkey you won't try making a singer out of it......... For a minute you can think of teaching a donkey mathematics....even though any wise person would consider it same as banging your head on wall........But you can always give a try......you know..... Anyways, making a singer out of a donkey is no doubt an impossible task.....just as that of analyzing a real system with infinite impulse response without sampling it.......... Oh... No? Okay, let the Mozart try and i can contest he wouldn't be able to teach him music........ Anyways...if you still don't agree........well i'll say........you can teach manners, etiquette.......may be responsibility............but you cannot purify one's heart and soul..... you cannot show someone his soul's image in the mirror of ethics..... And the more you understand this......the more likely are you to be happy........For you would know you cannot fill souls in lifeless flesh and blood through your words..........

More important to look beautiful than to be so.........

You're intelligent,confident, hardworking? Great.... You're honest, innocent, calm? Even better..... How good do you look? mm...Well not that good....Oh...Then it's your bad luck....Sorry....You disqualify.... You're liable to be given suggestions by incorrigibly cranky people just like that....without any reason.... But they are honourable, wise and winsome bunch of people.....And you cannot compare them to yourself.... So,remaining quiet and letting it go off your head is the only refuge...

1....2.....3 and the count goes on............

We all do and accept small favours(favours might not be a right word) for our loved ones........sometimes wanted and sometimes even unwanted......sometimes after being asked, sometimes unsaid...... and we never even think of them as tasks separated from us..... those are the things we love to do....that make us and our dear ones happy and satisfied..... and i always thought we do those small things more for ourselves than for others....for we love to be cared and helped and we our heart unknowingly tells us to do the same for our dear ones.... But misconceptions are like mirrors that break some day......And mine if not broken seems to have cracked severely...... When you realize some people around you, count everything.....every small thing they do for you..... And unfortunately, you were a bad accountant in not having maintained those figures...... oh....that won't turn me into a good accountant...........For i've realised broken mirrors are capable of multiple reflections and show you every face, you other wise wouldn't have..... and besides....i'm wise enough to realise..... keeping an account of those figures, i'll still remain indebted to those who love me from the bottom of their hearts....to those few, who don't keep a count of what all they do for me....

Sometimes.........I envy my own childhood.............

The days when i could laugh without calculations, and cry without embarrassing people around........when i could smile even at a severe rebuke or criticism..... When i would not think a moment even if someone would tell me i was the worst person in the world..... When all i knew about the world was my mom who cared for me,my papa who loved even after i committed stupid mistakes, my cute brother, the best thing i had, my loving daadi who would tell me as many stories with as many fairies as i wanted..... And my friends.....who would laugh and smile with me for no reason all the time........ When i could speak my heart to anyone who passed me a caring glance and bowed on his knees to ask me why i was qiuet..........When.......

:-) Redefining.........

Oh... i'm not writing something on my own today...........too lazy....i know.......But i'm writing something really nice that someone beautiful said to me..... And here is goes....... The definition of friendship in just one line......." A friend is one, who i would introduce the first to my soul mate, the day i'll marry...." :-) Ah....And the first thought that swirled in my mind was......I can expect an invitation card?.....And the second........... One more definition of a friend by a wise and sweet friend of mine......" A friend is just a friend..... I don't understand terms as close friend, best friend and others...." :-) And the third thought was........ I was lucky to have friends for whom my smile of just eight muscles and a small tear matters..........And that they are there with me forever.......^_^

Those gaps between the words.......

Those spaces between the words, of even the best of sentences,
By the mightiest of people, are not just empty spaces
Though they lie unnoticed, visible yet unknown, accessible yet unexplored
They teach some lessons of the life, invaluable and unsaid lessons.

Those spaces between the words , are not just empty spaces
As swift as the wind through the leaves, thoughts through faith
As pure as the smile in the dreams, shine in the eyes
As deep as the silence of chaos, words of care
As wider as the space between souls , the distance between Him and me.

Those spaces between the words, are empty spaces,
They entrap with them a world, an infinite world,
They speak a thousand words, different from those said or written,
They seize a million colours, all lined up in the shelter of thoughts.

Words as trenchant as knife.........perhaps some more........

Well words........spoken by your loved ones........even if they're harsh, you tend to blow them like a bubble in air.......for words aren't intenser than the feelings, nor is ego mightier than love.......But......When you know the cloud of envy and conceit has overshadowed that love and respect......perhaps unfortunately forever....... A single expression keeps you thinking the whole day...... For the speech might be voluntary like a wise person, bu the heart is involuntary like a child..........

HAPPINESS.............

:-) Happiness.........is abstract, an identity matrix which gives everything as it is.......which comes along the truth on its own......... It's a state of mind.......adrenaline rush........But more than that it's the state of heart........clear and sweet..........sparkling right from the eyes......straight to the other's heart....... The channel of communication? Ofcourse it's wireless...........And much more advanced than 3GP.......... Happiness is buying a new car......but far greater is the happiness of getting a toy car as a gift from a sweet child...........Happiness is may be buying a new house...........but far stronger is the feeling of being loved in your home........... Happiness may be a long speech in your glory and pride.........but far softer, purer are those words of love and care..........

Sadly, we prefer stones to men; we really do

The moment any child comes to his senses, senseless enough to recognize visually, he starts recognizing his parents, grandparents and siblings. And apart from this any Indian child starts recognizing something made of stone, beautifully carved, with lots of diyas, sweets , soothing music and holy men in yellow-orange accompanying it. Ah! That’s God almighty. He grows up, bowing everyday in front of Him; and i was no different. In fact, I would rather say, I’m no different.
But as I grew up, old enough to peep out of that window, yet innocent enough to not understand the complexities of life whenever anything went wrong, or I would see anyone crying, begging on the streets, I always thought, why the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient doesn't help them? Why He remained calm, silent spectator to all that wrong was being done?
And today, I realized that we the mighty, intellectual humans, His so called most wise creations, were wiser than He thought of us to be. Oh yes!! That’s the truth. Kudos to us! We prefer to pray mute stones for they cannot stand up in front of us and say "Hey you! You liar! You've been telling me since last ten days you’ll not lie. Everyday, you come to me and tell me 'this is the last lie I'm speaking.'.” And nor would those idols get into the detailed analysis of all those good and bad transactions, and all those profits. So we really really do prefer them. You see, it has a dual advantage - You get a certificate of so called holy person, sacred and religious, pious at your heart; And besides, your almighty cannot even say a word and you are free enough to do whatever pleases you.
The truth is we turn to those silent, muted, self-made idols because we don’t want ourselves to be questioned by His messengers. And when He speaks something through His messengers; Well, we call it stupid, mindless, verbose lecture by some nerd who has lost the balance of His mind, has enjoyed His life and is now spending a fun time vomiting all this that He must have heard somewhere from some baaba on those stupid TV channels!!
And unknowingly, we miss the nectar of the fruit of that unrealized, unknown sweet prayer of our soul whose innocent prayer was heard by the Father even though the child had deceived Him infinite times deceiving Him once more for nothing.